Fixing It Fridays

Emotions all tied up in a knot?

We Tie Our Own Knots!

Ever felt like your emotions were in about the same condition as this ball – all twisted, contorted and you can’t see any way to untangle the mess?  I think we all have at one time or another.  How do you find the core of the issue when your emotions are tied up in knots?  How do you find a way out of the predicament?  How to you see through all the wrapping to the center?  How do you find the end of the string and uncoil the knot?

The first thing to do is to figure out what the knot is made of.  Many times we have these huge knots to deal with because of our fears.  We can hide the truth of a situation from ourselves because of our fears.  We can hide the answer to the situation from ourselves because of our fears.    Our fears can blind us as well as paralyze us.  Our fears can make mountains out of molehills and keep us from achieving.  Our fears can stop us from reaching for our dreams and achieving our goals.  But how, when we are looking at the knot, can we find a way to conquer those very fears that threaten to paralyze us?

Remember, it’s your knot, you really can untie it at any time.  I know, much easier said than done.  Realizing that in the midst of the situation it is nearly impossible to see a way through the difficulties, we need to take the time to at least try.  Emotional knots are like having your own personal dragon.  When the knots are small the dragon is small, cute and kind of sweet.  When the knots grow to messed up tangles the dragon has grown to tremendous size and ferocity – breathing fire and beating the air into hot winds with it’s leathery wings.  The obvious and easy answer is to train the dragon before it becomes too big.  In other words, albeit hindsight, we should try to untie the knots before the related dragon gets too big.

Much like the tangle in the picture, it is hard to see where to begin.  However, beginning is exactly what needs to be done.  You may spend some time looking at the tangled knot, picking it up and studying it from all angles, looking for the tell-tale tail of the loose end.  That’s a good beginning…looking at the situation, trying to step outside of yourself and see the situation from a different perspective than your own.  Many times just taking a good hard look brings a clarity or solution not seen before.

If you’ve looked at it seven ways from Saturday and still only see a big knot you have a couple of choices.  You could just toss it and start with another knot, or, you can slowly and systematically untangle the knot and save the string.  It won’t always be easy to untie the knot…there will be times when the cord is cinched so tight on itself that you doubt you will be able to get it untied.  Sometimes the cord snaps and you wonder if it is worth the effort.  However, pushing yourself you force yourself to continue on, slowly transforming the cord from a tangled mess to a cord with a few knots holding it together.

To untie your knots, you must do the same.  It is sometimes difficult and always disconcerting to face our fears and negatives as we untie the knot.  But that is exactly what we need to do in order to be able to move forward to a freer and happier state of being.  Luckily, the knot doesn’t have to be untied all at once.  It can be untied in stages, step at a time, as we work on ourselves to  move forward from that which binds us so that we may discover that which helps us to shine.

Here’s some ways to help you untie the knot:

1.  Take it a piece at a time.  You don’t have to untangle the whole knot all at once.

2.  Tug on a string.  Fight the urge to allow your fears to freeze you.  Take a tug on a string.  The whole knot might just unravel.  On the other hand, tugging could result in pulling the knot tighter.   Tugging will let you know if you’re on the right string or not.  Even if it is a stab in the dark…try something.  By the trying you may just get it right the first time, and if you don’t — well you’ve learned something and that gives you a better idea on which way you need to go.

3.  Once you see a clear path to untangle the knot, don’t hesitate!  If you see a way through the knot, go ahead – untie it.  Sometimes the solution to a situation is far easier than we expect.   Sometimes its the little things that make all the difference…if your knot is a disagreement with another, you can at least tell them that you respect their opinion even if you don’t agree with it, and that you agree to disagree on that issue.

Facing our fears is something we all must do sooner or later.  It’s difficult.  It’s not fun, but the sooner we face them the better off we are.  Untying the knots we have tied in our life’s cord isn’t easy, but the rewards for doing so are far greater than we can imagine.  By facing our fears and dealing with them we can move forward with one less thing holding us back from achieving our spiritual center.

Blue Rope


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